Waiting for Godot

I read this play when I was much much younger (or at least, it feels that way now). I was probably only 23, so it was five years ago now, almost six, but it feels like twenty or more years. 


I didn't understand the point of it back then. I couldn't see why they spent the entire play just hanging around, waiting for this guy to show up. Why didn't they go look for him? Why did they need him so badly?


I think I've figured it out a little now. Sometimes waiting is all you can do. Right now, waiting to see if I get my period or not, waiting to see if I'm actually pregnant this time - it's hard. I don't know if I have the courage to do much more. I know I'm doing everything I can to make sure it happens (c.f. losing weight - even if I beat myself up over my food issues and exercise habits - and seeing a gyno and taking metformin), but the waiting is hard work.


Is this nausea morning sickness? Or am I just vomiting as a bad metformin reaction? (I know they say to stick to a low carb, low fat diet on metformin, which I do, but it has not seemed to make a difference with the GI side effects for me. I will go a week or so with no side-effects, eating whatever  I like, and then bam, as soon as I toughen up my diet again, welcome home, feelings of nausea and intense cramping pain until I run to the bathroom with explosive diarrhea.)


Are my breasts tender because I'm pregnant, or is it just my body warning me my period's about to arrive?


I know I could take a pregnancy test - but I don't have the courage. I don't know if I want my heart to be broken again just yet. Right now, all I have the strength to do is just wait.