Arming myself

This morning I got up late. I didn't have to be up early; I didn't have to go to work. 


I put on my wedding ring and my engagement ring (I don't usually wear them; they're a lot looser since I've lost 20 kg and I'm afraid that one day, while I'm changing my gloves in the lab, they'll flick off and I'll lose them and that will be that). I put on my calf length black boots under my jeans (I usually run around in sneakers, forget heels!). I added a smart stripy jumper and my thick black Gap coat (no t-shirts and hoodies today!). Then I pinned on my favourite red wooden bird brooch and added a pair of small silver earrings, made by a jewellery student who is friends with my sister-in-law.


I took a deep breath and ran for the tram to meet One at his work by 9:30.


Compared to what I'd been dreading in the lead-up to the appointments today ("YOU ARE NOT SUITABLE PARENTS," in the counselling appointment, "THIS WILL COST ELEVENTY-BILLION DOLLARS" in the accounts appointment, and "YOU MUST HAVE FIVE PAINFUL INJECTIONS PER DAY AND LOSE ANOTHER 20 KILOS BEFORE WE WILL EVEN MAYBE CONSIDER YOU," in the nursing appointment), it was actually a breeze.


It will be a little more expensive than One was expecting (me? Well, it was an awful lot less than eleventy billion dollars, so I'm good!), I gave myself a practice needlestick in the belly in the nursing appointment (and you know what? It didn't hurt at all - says hypocrite me, with five tattoos and seven piercings), and the counsellor was a little amazed that we had done so much research and were so prepared - especially that we were so prepared for the actual, real statistics. Huh.


Then One and I went out into the sunshine and birds sang and there was a rainbow and all was right with the - okay, okay. We went out into the grey, cold Melbourne morning, and caught a tram back to the city. He bought me lunch - a baguette with roast beef and mustard - and we sat in the watery winter sunshine on the steps in Fed Square.


He went back to work; I had a coffee and a slice of ricotta and sultana cheesecake at Brunetti's. 


Now I'm at home, feeling more at peace and relaxed than I have in a long while.


PS. I told my boss that One and I were trying IUI (so that I could have today off), and he laughed. He is ridiculously excited for me - he kept telling me how wonderful he thinks it is and how happy he is, and what good parents we will make. It was honestly a little surreal, as I was imagining that he was not actually going to be all that pleased and possibly have a little emergency buzzer labeled with "MATERNITY LEAVE" that he might hit...